Frequently Asked Questions

General Questions

What does Classy Wino actually sell?
Gag gifts for adults who still have a sense of humor — wrapping paper with attitude, NOTHING! boxes, prescription-strength alcohol labels, and more chaos-friendly items that make gifting fun again.

Are your products for real gifts or joke gifts?
Both. If your gift needs personality, our stuff does the heavy lifting. If your gift is the joke, even better.

Is Classy Wino just for drinkers?
Nope. But let’s be honest… a lot of our customers are.

Orders & Shipping

How fast do you ship?
Orders usually ship within 1–2 business days. Holidays may cause temporary mail carrier despair.

Do you offer tracking?
Yes — you’ll receive tracking as soon as your order ships.

Do you ship internationally?
Not yet. For now we ship within the U.S. One day we’ll annoy customs worldwide.

Returns & Support

What’s your return policy?
If your item arrives damaged or defective, we’ll replace it or refund you. If you regret your sense of humor… that one’s on you.

How do I contact support?
Email us at support@classywino.com. Actual humans respond.

Product Questions

How do the Prescription-Strength Labels work?
They’re peel-and-stick labels for any bottle. Add a patient name, condition, dosage, and your doctor signature. Zero medical training required.

What comes in the NOTHING! package?
NOTHING!. Literally. You’re paying for the premium experience of giving someone exactly what they asked for.

Is the wrapping paper good quality?
Yep — thick, bold, bright, doesn’t rip when you breathe near it. Not your dollar-store “funny paper.”

Gifting Questions

Who are your products good for?
People with siblings, coworkers, chaotic friends, sarcastic parents, or a functioning sense of humor.

Can I use your products for office parties?
Absolutely — assuming your office has a sense of humor. If not… enjoy HR.

Do these work as last-minute gifts?
They work especially well. Nothing says “I planned this” like funny wrapping paper and a prescription label pretending to be effort.

About Classy Wino

Where are you located?
Southern California — land of sunshine, tequila, and overpriced cocktails.

Why does everything roast people?
Because it’s fun. And because pretending every birthday is magical is exhausting.

A Question Someone Asked One Time

What’s the capital of South Dakota?
We’re pretty sure the guy was being a smart-ass. But we put it here anyway, because we’re smart asses too. It’s Pierre, by the way. The capital of South Dakota is Pierre.